And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
