I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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