I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The beer is more important than you right now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
