what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
