Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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