2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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