I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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