i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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