I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
