I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
only if we run a train.
done.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
