He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
