I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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