You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My dick has a subreddit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
