Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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