We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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