yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
