the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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