and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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