She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
