i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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