I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
