I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
