I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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