Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
