Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
