Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
