i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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