You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
