I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
