If i come over, it means nothing
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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