just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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