Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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