We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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