If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
