you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
