So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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