You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
