I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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