Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
