These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
