I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
