I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
