I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
