I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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