Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I smell like Dick and happiness
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