Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
