I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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