I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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