Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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