im drinking this country out of the recession.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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