It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
