It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
