I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
