he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
