No period for spring break; use this wisely.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
