So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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