I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Green mimosas i think yes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
