ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
